Rogers: I just want what I had

Rogers is sucking all the fun out of my relationship with my phone.

I have been a customer since 1998. NINETEEN NINETY EIGHT. I had to type out the words just so I could put them into caps lock. I don't know why I'm loyal. I'm dumb. It hasn't been such a problem up until about 2 months ago. 

Let me tell you something that Rogers won't believe because it seems impossible: I made a verbal agreement with a customer service agent in 1998 to get call display. It was NEVER put down in writing. It was NEVER on any bill, but I had it. I had this feature on my phone and I got it for free. Just because someone told me they'd add it, and they did, because that's how things were done back then.

Somehow, in the last FOUR phone calls I've had with Rogers, they've removed my call display. It's gone. I was trying to troubleshoot my missing data (that's a different barrel of monkeys) and the agent said, "oh, hang on, let me try something. There's this thing here, I don't know what it is, it's really old, let me remove it. ...okay, does your data work now?"

I don't know if what he removed was my call display. I have no idea because I never saw it in writing anywhere. In any case, after that moment, I stopped getting call display. 

It's all I want, Rogers. I just want call display. I had it until now, and I want it back. 

You'd think getting this thing put back would be easy... but nope. Since my plan is dinosaur-ancient, they can't add ancient plan add-ons to current day plans. That's convenient, right? 

So they can charge me $8 a month for call display. Which is asinine. Ludicrous. Insulting, to be honest. I've been with them since 1998, and they can't just give me free call display? 

EVERY OTHER CARRIER JUST THROWS IT IN THERE. THROW IT IN, ROGERS.

I might as well be asking for a unicorn, it seems. 

It's all I want, Rogers. I just want call display. I had it until now, and I want it back. AND I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR IT, because I never did! Does that make sense? Yes? So can we get er done? 

Give it back. Stop fighting with me, let this happen. Give me some loyalty. I don't mean give me rewards like the 6 months free magazine subscription that we get annually... I mean something that actually means something to me.

An agent offered to waive the $8 call display fee, for a month. My face did something disgusting, and I now know what burning anger feels like. I've been a customer for SIXTEEN years and you're going to waive $8 off of one month? Oh, oh, thank you. You are too gracious. You are too kind. Let me just turn around and let you put it right there, because you might as well. 

Oh, and yes, I'm stuck in one of those delightful contracts that expires in 2015. It'll cost a ridiculous amount of money to pay out of it early, and I am a cheapass. 

Does anyone know of a way to get this solved? Or switch over to another equally horrible carrier that'll charge me less than $45 a month? If someone can help me do this without spending a horrifying amount of money, I will buy you lunch. A fancy lunch. With little cakes. Or even dinner, if I'm not exhausted after spending additional hours on the phone with Rogers. 

Pet Peeve of the Day: Drivers

When it says 'stay in right lane except to pass,' that's what it means. There's no interpretation. There's no humming and hawing. It says what it means and means what it says.

When there's 4 lanes or more of highway, and everyone in every lane is going at the same speed, I am going to turn petty. I am going to find a way past your inconsiderate and illiterate carbutt, get in front of you, and slow down until you change lanes.

Rant of the Day: Poor Customer Service

I get an email on December 20th, 2013, inviting me to a ceremony. The ceremony is scheduled for January 29th, 2014.

On December 21st, I reply to this email with a few questions. Standard stuff.

No response for weeks.

So I send another email on January 6th, 2014. You know, I gave it around 2 weeks.

Tonight, January 28th, I get an email with a response. Less than 24 hours before the ceremony.
I wish I could say this is the first time I've had a delayed response from this particular person who works at a major University, but it isn't.

This is one of the worst customer service experiences I've ever had, and I worked in customer service for over 3 years. I never took NEARLY SIX WEEKS to reply to someone.

Not that this is a time sensitive subject or anything... it's just about a ceremony... no biggie, right?

Thought of the Day: Women Stray but Don't Cheat

I have a problem. Sometimes, I am not emotionally faithful.

We turn our wedding bands around in dark bars.
We take off our promise rings in crowded rooms.

We flirt with the possibility that maybe, yes, maybe this could happen.
And why should we worry, with such a big safety net?

Girls tempt guys. Some girls. No matter how perfect the relationship, no matter how satisfied and happy and blahblahblah a girl is, some just like to wander.

It isn't unfaithfulness, but it's something close.

So we don't mention we're taken. We leave that off the table. We accept drinks. We flip our hair. We put on extra mascara. Spray perfume in extra special places. Wear the good underwear. Impress guys the way we haven't impressed our own in so long.

And it isn't all girls. But it's some. Their nature is to stray. It's to meander along those blurred lines. Those lines become fences and you can't straddle everything, you know?

So when those propositions happen, as they inevitably do, we don't stop them in their tracks. We could. It's easy. We know it's easy. But we allow them to happen because we will always think 'what if?'

Is that in my blood? More than anything it's an affliction of my mind.

I daydream, and night dream, and fantasize, and wonder, and make up ambitious scenarios involving late night laughter in poor lighting and warm parts under cold bridges. It could be with anyone, really.

So does this mean I'm not actually happy? That I'm looking for someone else? I don't think that's it. In fact, I think I'm wired that way... to always wonder. To be drawn to mystery and the potential of bad things that ruin relationships.

I'm mostly happy. To be honest, I'm happier than most people. But I'm easily bored. And what's really interesting... what's truly the opposite of bored, is the feeling I get when I fantasize that something could happen. Even if it never would.

So I look over past emails, saved MSN chats, Facebook messages, old captured pictures from the webcam days, and reminisce. I fondly remember.

And more than anything, it is just all too flattering that people still want me. It reminds me that in a lengthy relationship, my appeal hasn't just disappeared. Feeling desirable is dangerous. Many women fall prey to this and they find themselves unleashing a barrel of monkeys.

So I feel flattered. I remember these moments in my past and I think, I could have this again if I wanted to. And just that feeling, just that, is enough. I don't need to explore. I don't need to break hearts and actually stray and cause my own unhappiness. My brain is explorative enough.

What if one day it isn't? Would I call it a mistake? What if I don't know the true meaning of a mistake because I've never made a big enough mistake? If I think too long on it I may just reconsider everything I've ever done, and that's too deep for this time of night.

Why are vets so expensive?

I just spent $50 on eye ointment. It's a 10g tube.

How am I paying $5 for a gram of product. How.

I blame it on my cat's cuteness. She is overwhelmingly adorable. I look at her eyes, see them watering, and somehow suck it up and pay this ridiculous fee.

Not to mention it costs $60 each visit as a consultation fee. This only involves them checking her weight and teeth.

Then 'to be safe' they did the corneal scan. $40.

Feeling much poorer, you'd think I'd feel better when I applied this ointment to my baby's eye and she got all better. But you see the vet gave me the ointment, not the eye drops. I didn't think there was a huge difference at the time, but I am an idiot.

Drops can be dropped from a distance. Say, one claw swipe away. Ointment needs to be applied about 3cm away from the eye. This involves having to force her eye open while trying to squeeze this finicky (and minuscule) tube with my other hand.

Somehow this ointment is the stickiest shit on the planet. It curls around the applicator tip, and slides right off her eye. Thanks.

By the way, you should see the bandaids all over my hands. Because no one wants someone messing with their eyeballs!

So I suck it up. I go back. And it's another $60 consult. And they tell me the drops are MORE expensive. More expensive than $5 a gram? YES.

My wallet is crying.