Question of the Day

Where do I see myself in 5 years?

Honestly? I hope in 5 years I'll be on vacation on some tropical island. Sandy beaches. Fruity drinks with ridiculous trinkets hanging off the lip. Flip flops every day. The works. But to be even more honest, I know that I could only be on this perfect vacation because I've worked hard. I've worked 50 weeks a year to earn those 2 weeks of peace and quiet on this quaint little island.

I know nothing comes from nothing, and we live in a meritocracy. I hold onto the belief that we live in a meritocracy, at least. I know I'll have to work diligently, consistently, with perseverance. I'll lose patience sometimes, I'll hate it most times, but that doesn't change my motivation. 

I will toil, sow, struggle, and reap the rewards of that tropical vacation. 

Not a perfect answer. I know that. I should say I want to be a VP of some major company. But since we're still being honest, I'm not that type of person. I'm not a type-A personality, I don't feel comfortable in a position of too much power. I don't want to rule the world or become queen or be a pioneer in any major way. I want to be the person behind the scenes, making a difference in small ways that add up to a big finale. The one in the background that gets a little recognition, but never the flashing lights and fame. 

I'm quiet, I'm easy-going. I don't have the overwhelming ambition or drive to become a CEO. But I have ambition enough to work hard, advance myself slowly with good consistent works and a positive attitude. 

Well. Most days. No one can be happy and go-lucky every single day of their lives. But I can do my best. 

A Realistic Job Post

Hi. My name is Nicole and I want a job.

To be honest, I'm not experienced. At all. But I really hope you'll give me a chance. Just because I don't have work experience doesn't mean I'm not qualified. Let's make sure we make the distinction...

I haven't worked in the Technical Writing field at all, ever. But I'm in school for it now and have been for about a year and a half. This means it's fresh in my mind and I've been working on building my skills consistently.

To be honest, I'm not overly fond of people. This is why I'm going into a technical field... because there probably isn't an overabundance of socialization and having to deal with marketing to people. Now this isn't to say I can't cozy up to people if I like them. I can't be very fun and very cool, but not all the time. For example on a Monday morning (which for me is anytime before 10am) any conversation may just totally slip over my head. But don't confuse my grunts for rudeness. This is simply me saying 'I'll get back to you on that thought later.'

So yes, if you want to make a resume-appropriate line for that, I can work well independently but also flourish alone.

To be truthful, I'm not the perfect candidate. I probably won't show up for work on time every single day for 15 years. You'll be lucky if I stay in the same company for 5. I will take sick days even if I'm not actually sick. Well, while I'm being truthful... I'll call them 'mental health days' (which every company should offer). This is just when I cannot psychologically or emotionally deal with all the work bullshit and just need a day to myself.

Truth be told, I will probably not like my boss very much. I will probably make obscene faces every time they turn around. This isn't because he/she is a bad person. It's because I don't like being told what to do. At least not without a reward.

Speaking of rewards, it'd be great if I could get paid a decent salary. Yes, I know I have no experience. I know I'm not tried, or tested. But there are things I can promise anyone:

Regardless of whether I hate the job or not, I will do it. I will finish each and every task to the best of my ability.
I will do my best to show up on time, to be courteous and kind,  to go to meetings and I'll try to stay awake, and I will learn to make a coffee if that's what my boss wants.
If I fail at something or if something isn't right or isn't good enough, TELL ME and I will do all that I can to improve. This includes taking extra courses, spending more time on the project, or asking for help. I'm not so high on my horse that I can't ask for help if and when I need it.
I will do all these things without overtly grumbling. I will take my grievances home and not slander or libel the company in any way. Because that's petty and I hate pettiness.

Other than that, I can't make any more promises. I will say it's part of my personality that I do put a lot of effort into things. I am lazy in that I don't like to get out of bed on a cold winter morning. I am lazy in that I'll leave dirty socks on the floor for about 3 days before putting them into the hamper. But I am also OCD.

Things have to be organized. They have to be filed and foldered in colour-coordinated perfection. This may be of benefit for any technical company.

I know the value of organization. And I am very organized. I can also type ridiculously fast. Is there any job where all I do is type all day? A job that doesn't require a PhD? That'd be great, please let me know. Because I can do that job and probably beat anyone's ass at a typing test.

But seriously now, I am looking for a job. A full-time, permanent position. I want to be paid more than I'm worth. I want the 2 week vacation and mental health days and a nap room and massage chairs in the break room and a cool boss and coworkers that aren't 3 generations older than me. While I'm asking for things I want, I also want a unicorn. World peace too, I guess.

Isn't that what everyone wants? To get a 'cool' job where their coworkers are awesome and boss isn't demanding? The pay is great and it isn't like a sleazy porno production company or something?

I'd love to find a job I could be proud of. I could say with my chest puffed out that 'I work at _____!!' Notice that double exclamation? That's my pride.

So yes, I am qualified. I can do it. But will anyone give me a chance? Not just looking at my resume. It's bland and contrived and maybe less impressive than average. Spunk doesn't translate on paper. I wish people could just give novices chances like they did in the 'olden days.' But these are the days where everyone has a BA and any fool can use a computer.

I'm asking for a chance. Honestly, just let yourself be surprised by my ability. I can't say I'll pick it up immediately... it may take me a month or 3 to get used to the flow of things. But I am eager. I can do it. I want it. And frankly, if I'm unemployed for long enough, I will desperately need it.

Thank you,
Nicole