Pet Peeve of the Day

Sexism

Specifically, sexism that I've experienced calling into call centers. Also the sexism I've doled out whilst working at a call center.

I'll be honest. I not only know it exists, but I let it propagate itself. Whenever I have to call a phone company to deal with my phone bill, or if I need to cancel a subscription (something as simple as a magazine subscription), I will ask my Dad to call. If not my Dad, then someone with a masculine voice.

The shame of it is that I know that this is more effective than if I call in myself. I have a meek voice, and I'm hardly ever aggressive. Well, I feel bad being aggressive toward people I don't know. Which, it turns out... is exactly the reason WHY people are aggressive to strangers.

During my 3+ years working at a call center, I experienced a slew of disgruntled and frustrating customers. People who would argue over the littlest and most trivial of issues. Things that would get my blood boiling and kill off brain cells.
Despite knowing there was a comfortable and safe distance of however-many-miles between this psycho and me, I trembled a bit every time someone yelled at me. And it was usually men that yelled.

This isn't to say all men are confrontational on the phone. In my experience, the majority of them are. I've heard some abrasively violent female voices yell at me too. Caustically. But for whatever reason, people on the receiving end don't take female threats as seriously.
Perhaps this is because on a few occasions those who have followed through on threats (people throwing chairs through windows of buildings and running their car through a business front) were all men.

Okay. Edit. I don't tremble... but I do feel myself getting a little shaky. I become less assured. I suppose this must translate in my voice (though I try my hardest to subdue this tell).

So when a woman calls in, I am way more likely to sound friendly with them. If a man calls, I start off friendly, but with even a hint that he may turn on me, I take on much more of a growl.

People still associate women as the more delicate sex, and maybe that's all true. Maybe we are weaker and more emotional and irrational. But here's rationality for you... (and take it while you can, as a woman I can tell you that rationality comes sparse) maybe if everyone were nice then people would be more inclined to help you out.

I've always said thank you at the end of every frustrating call. In person or behind the shield of the phone (and the anonymity that follows), I will make a point to thank someone for their time. I don't care whether I'm truly thankful or not. (Note that it's this anonymity that is key to people's overtly belligerent and difficult behavior. People are typically much nicer to women if they saw them and interacted with them face-to-face. Plus I could glare back. And my glare can sting).

At the end of a 6 hour shift I can usually count my 'thank-you's' on the digits on my hands and feet. So each one counts.

What's the saying? You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's true. Be nice, and the world will want to help you. Be an ungrateful jerk, who is yelling and cursing and threatening, and I doubt the same people will want to help you. It's just subliminally allowing and condoning that behavior.

I'll still get someone manly to call in for my troubles. They're more likely to get a better deal than me. One day, however, I'll buy one of those voice-modifyers. I'll first practice it on my closest friends and imitate Scream movies. Then, I'll be getting the best cell-phone service anyone has ever bargained for!